Easily used image from the final section of the Gospels, number 1… when we use the word ‘Judas’ to describe someone betraying us, do we have a clue what it means? These are just some of the ideas I have in my head about Judas…
One of my closest friends
Someone who kept making mistakes, just like everyone else
Someone with huge ambition for me
Someone who saw me letting myself down
Someone who was willing to risk everything to make ‘it’ happen
Someone who put money above other things
Someone who could turn away from all their hopes
Someone who realised too late that you can’t always take back your words or actions
I don’t know how I feel about Judas… sometimes when I read passages like that in Matthew chapter 18, I get really cross with him. Other times I’m just glad I wasn’t there… maybe I would have done the same in order to push Jesus into action. Sometimes I wish there could have been another way, and at others I know it was always going to happen.
I was reading this morning in the reflections that accompany the Essential Jesus readings about how this final betrayal of Jesus came after many other smaller events where Judas had failed to make the right choices… he’d let himself slide into a pattern of behaviour that was spiralling out of control, and this is where it led him.
I guess the challenge and the thought for me today is how I can both notice those behaviours in myself, and how to step out of the cycle. I could make a fairly long list of my own failings, both actual and potential. The next step is the harder one.
Well, the longest of journeys starts with one step, so I guess I’d best get going.
Oh, and BTW, its good to be back- apologies for my absence.